Champ,
I must say that you are kind of interesting and have good humor
Now I am going to discuss about the number 4 on your list
******4 For all, more love (by relationship, fellowship, and association with) instead of hate! ******
Based on my personal experience. The kindest teacher I ever got is one from Singapore. She did well on her teaching and I had a lot of fun in her class. She treated us from time to time, gave me the best advice I ever got. Once I asked her to write me a recommendation letter out of urgency, and she did it in one day. I know a lot of kind people, white and black and yellow. But that one, I will always remember her for her kindness.
There is one person from China were mean to me sometimes. Sometimes I think she cares more about her own interest and take advantage of others, but I don't label the whole Asia as bad because of that. People in the world some good some bad and some in between. No nation is all saint, no nation is all devil beings either. Each person has some sainthood and some monster too. Goodnite.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/11/2011 01:06AM by Savannah.

I agree Savannah, at least we finally have agreement on this point. But it is the "monster" in them of "racism" that needs to be exorcised the most. Racism and non-interference have caused more wars, destroyed more lives, and damaged more property, not to mention, hurt, pain, and humiliation than any one evil in the entire world. Will we ever achieve this in our lifetimes, the answer is NO! But if we can change even one racist (asian, white, or black)that is one less "racist" in the world, isn't it? From that one racist who changes they can pass that knowledge on to their family members, their future generations, and in the end we can come pretty close to perfection though never attain it 100%! Interesting story, one of my black friends once told me a dream he had. He had a dream where he saw three incidence going on at one time. Interesting to note, the first segment was where he and an Angel who seemed to walk beside him on a long roped bridge over a deep ravine between two mountains were coming from one side of the bridge and a tall asian young man was walking across the bridge coming from the other side. As he approached the young man he spoke to him politely and said, "how are you?" The young man's face seemed to turn into a sneer as he looked at him, why he was not sure, but suddenly the Angel ran back, grabbed the young asian man over his head and threw him off the bridge to his death below. The black friend then said to the Angel, "That was cruel, "Why did you do this to him?" He was just a young guy he had no right to die like that?" Then the angel said to him, "I think you do not understand that boy was a racist, in the end no matter what you said or did, he was going to hate you and try his best to destroy you and in the future he planned to annihilate and murder hundreds of thousands of blacks!" My friend then told the Angel, "But could we have reasoned with him, couldn't we have tried to change his mind?" The Angel seem perplexed so he responded, "No, you do not understand if God had allowed him to live he would have become one of the worst mass murderers the world had ever seen he would have killed more people than Hitler himself ever killed too, but God in his tender mercy allowed him to die now while there was still a chance for him to change!" Moral = Sometimes one must be sacrificed so that others can live! Yet, in the end the racist had a chance to change before his death as he fell to his death! In a way, isn't that showing love even to a racist! lol Just some more food for thought today, Savannah!

Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 12/11/2011 11:04AM by Tchapm3.

Champ....you should look up the name Daniel Ellsberg and read some of the things he wrote. You raised some good points and I gave you the credits and I respect that. However, I am not going to discuss politics here and I am not going to debate on racism. I am not against the things you wrote nor your perspective.

GD,
What Champ wrote, some are good, some are pretty biased. I can't believe you said:"I am not against the things you wrote nor your perspective."

Champ,
Racism everywhere, yes. You know what the reason behind all of this? That is the nearsighted vision. Care for one person, one family, one country or one ethic group only. If people can put themselves in a high view, see the earth as an unit, and do what a human being, a good human being needs to do, then all will be finer.
I don't want to say which race is bad or which country is bad. For me, I love some good things in them, and dislike some bad things too. If you put yourself in a higher view, as the family leader, and those countries are like your kids. Some did good, some did bad. Will you tell your kids to pack their bag and get lost?
You would do your best to help them, if you are a good parent. For a good parent know what kind of past experience lead to the current situation, and he or she knows the kid that made wrong choices is not all bad. GTG.

Savannah, yes I understand you also. But you have never been a parent have you? Let me tell you about chastisement (an english term that means by any means necessary including corporeal punishment on your butt) here. My dad loved me too very much but when I was wrong he was never afraid to chastise me too. How did he chastise me with a belt on my butt. I guess you would think he was so wrong to 'spank his kid, right?" You are so wrong again Savannah! My father told me, "Son, it is better that I chastise you now than for others to chastise you later!" What did he mean, it was simple! If my father corrected my wrong behavior immediately when he saw it then I could avoid being punished by society later if I knew my behavior and conduct were wrong. Case in point, every society, even in asian countries has prisons, don't they? When I was stateside I use to teach english in men's prison to men prisoners too. Often these young men would tell me, "Sir, I wish I had a parent like you who would have not only shown me right from wrong but spanked me or punished me to make me understand that, "there is a right way and their is a wrong way, too!!!" Often they said, "our parents were so busy working on their jobs, or, running their businesses that they only told me what was wrong but they never punished me to let me know "Why" it was wrong? Do you get their meaning now Savannah? The kid" you mention here I think you were implying are the nations in asia and the asian people themselves, am I right? If I am right the same "rule" applies to them as well Savannah! Now, I will give you a reverse example of what would happen to a kid if you are not the one (the parent in this case) that corrects them! My dad told me this happened to me when I was only 2 years old. We had a gas heater in our small house and it was cold during the winter. I kept playing with the heater and trying to put my hands in the flame. My mother kept grabbing me and telling me, "No, no, Ted don't do that you will get burned!" But everytime she turned her back I went back to the heater and tried it again and again anad again. My mom got so mad with me but my dad smiled. He said, "honey, leave him with me I will teach him not to play with fire!" My mom said, "ok!" A few minutes later she heard me sceaming, "ow, ow, ow, it hurts!" MY mom ran into the room and saw my dad putting salve and ointment on my finger it was not burned much cause I can't even see it these days since I grew up. She said to my dad, "what happened to him?" Dad said, "simple he burned his finger on the heater, I was there to stop him as soon as he felt pain!" My mom went ballistic with anger. She said, "how could you allow that to happen to your own son?" My dad said one thing to her, "do you think he will put his finger on the heater again now?" Of course, I never did that again, can you guess why? Simple, if you let a kid know that there are consequences for wrong behavior, as my dad did, you better believe that kid will never do that again. Likewise, if you do nothing or only talk to a kid and wait for him to correct himself, he never will, get it? Who do you think was right in that situation Savannah? My dad or my mom? Think deeply now!:-)

As for me, all I can say is you will never see me put my finger on a heater again you can bet on that...hahaha...kid or no kid...I now knew what pain was and believe me I never ever did it again. My mom never had to remind me ever again to stop going to the fire ya! lol So if by kid you meant the asian nations or the asians themselves who practice racism, unless you let them see for themselves the "consequences" of their racism do you think they will ever change? No, they will not just like a real kid, unless you let them feel how racism feels to themselves, they will do nothing and continue the same practices they have even now!

Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 12/11/2011 09:00PM by Tchapm3.

Well Champ,
I got corporeal punishment by my dad too. I know the feeling. There are ways to deal with misbehavior, and punish by hitting or slapping is not a good one. Communication through action and caring, try to make the kid understand what he or she did wrong and try to see things in her or his shoes. Offer a listening ear, that is the first thing to deal with misbehavior. It is just like war is the last resort to solve the questions, and it causes a lot of casualty. I would suggest you to study the art of war, and figure out what is the best to deal with conflict.

Whole point missed here..haha..your case study is not synonomous with the disccussion here. Parents usage of chastisement comes in all forms and as the last resort you can use corporeal punishment. If I am not wrong, and I can be wrong, was the use of the kids analogy to asian nations and asian people's was I right or wrong? If the former, then asian nations and asian people with racist ideas have to be treated the same way you would treat a kid. Deal with them as the usa does with North Korea, give punishment in the form of sanctions for bad behavior. However, as President Obama did with china too a couple of weeks ago, He asks or suggests they change their dishonest, deceptive trade policies and become a responsible member of the commonwealth of nations. That is subtle coercision the same kind we use with kids, however, if that kid (China in this instance) doesn't listen and continue their abborent behavior, contrary to common trade practices elsewhere, they will reap the "whirlwind" of blockade (a more direct approach nonetheless) and stifle their own economy until they change. Sad truth Savannah, my personal opinion after being here is that the chinese will not change. And when the usa and other united nations sanction them by blockage and other means they will try to fight for certain! Could all of this have been avoided? Of course it can be but will it be is another question? In my classroom I deal with many different students who have abborhent behavior (bad manners and rudeness too) of course in here I cannot justify to the chinese the use of corporeal punishment, however, the school director does administer it to their behinds quite well...haha...lol...:-)So, as you see even in china they deal with abborhent behavior quite adequately...hehehe...so dont tell me that asians don't believe in punishment for bad behavior that is a myth. Unfortunately, due to asian american and asians of good character non-interfence with a "bad boy mentality" (racist and racism among you) behavior they will continue to demonstrate the bad behavior (racism in all its form, direct and indirect) until they, like the misbehaving students in my classroom are forced to see reason by direct interaction (chastisement)! I hope you have a pleasant sleep tonight asian princess! Watch out for the men in china who might punch your teeth out one because of insane jealousy, oh by the way, do you think that abhorrent behavior in china needs to be stamped out too, or, should we just wait fot them to keep beating, injuring, or perhaps even kiling the chinese girls over here?:-) I know what you will say, "Can we judge one bad chinese man for killing his girlfriend? Not all chinese men act like those bad men! Based on your reponses here, why dont you ask the chinese girl who gets beaten, injured, or killed (oops did I say that?) how she feels about the "one bad chinese guy" who did that to her, hmmm? What do you think her responses will be? Of course, she will say, "Oh, I do not judge all chinese men by what one did? Wrong, again, the ones I talked to later told me, by translator of course in a secret place, "I will never date another chinese man for the rest of my life!!!:-)"

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/11/2011 11:42PM by Tchapm3.

LOL Champ,
Answer this question : Only China has domestic abuse? My friend, you are totally out of line, and very unfair. LOOK at USA today, the newspaper, what you see is all peachy peace? Rosy love? LOL

Savannah, abuse against women has to end, the other nations do have programs taht are trying to eradite woman abuse this is the biggest difference between China and the rest of the world. The rest of the world battered women's shelters, counseling, and protection by word (the laws that are enacted) and by deed. China is the only nation so far that I know of who completely ignores the problem and calls it a domestic dispute, haha! I ask you this, "if you were the chinese woman on the end of that fist that is punching you in the eyes, battering out your teeth and your gums, swelling up your eyes and brusing your body, would you still think it was nothing then? Lets face reality and be brutally honest here, "Of course not!" You would not consider it such an "issue of non-chalance" and make excuses about other countries have abuse too if it was you on the end of those fists hammering at your body, now would you? :-) You need to stop making exuses, domestic violence and racism in asia, and stop doing something to end it as much as you can. As I said before, "life is too precious to waste, pain and suffering need to end as soon as possible, if not now when? You keep on espousing, "oh well, let's just let them solve it amongst themselves, but as most asians and asian americans you always forget the "what if it was me question, right?" This is the "real issue Savannah, not pass it on that and let's sweep it under the rug mentality and do nothing to stop or change it!"

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/12/2011 04:34AM by Tchapm3.

And I add here, "this is what a real american would do!" Dead President Harry S. Trueman said, "the buck stops here!" Do you know what he meant when he made that famous statement? No, you probably don't for you are not a true historian. What he meant when he said that was the "central heart" of the american mentality! And that is, "do not pass your responsibility to get the job done, when you know you can do something about it, on to others, take care of it yourself! Or as we say it today, "stop being fake (hint: american) or a flake (hide from the truth) and be real, girl!":-) THis is what made a america "GREAT!" The work ethic, the industrial might of our industries, the benefits we enjoy today came from our predecessors who were not fakes, flakes, or irresponisible, get it? When the job needed to get done they stayed there until the job was done and did not sit on their butts philosophyizing about it and say, "Oh, don't other countries have the same problems we have? Let's just wait and see what they do about it! hahaha as you well know "not doing something about an issue is the favorite thing to do in asia, isn't it?" lol "If not now, WHEN? If not you, then WHO? Let's stop making ex
cuses and get to work on fixing the issues in our ancestral motherlands by word and deed.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/12/2011 05:02AM by Tchapm3.

Wishing you well as I am going to bed now. Enjoy your trip to china! "When I was a child/kid then treat me as a child, but, when I grow up treat me like an grownup!" China, Vietnam, and many other asian nations have been in their "kid" stage for too long. It's time for them to grow up now, get it? I remember my school days very well, want to know why? Whenever I had homework I put if off, pushed it out of my mind, and if necessary hid it from my parents. Then when I got caught, my dad and mom would say, "Now Teddy, where is your homework?" If I could not think up an acceptable excuse for my poor judgement and actions I would always use that old reliable "catch phrase universally used by all kids, "I don't know!":-) Now, I ask you, do you think my dad let me get away with that, did your dad too? haha heck no! I tried every excuse and trick in the kids' journal of "Ways To Avoid doing what you know you have to do!" lol I think you can understand my meaning here, am I right? If I am wrong, then I will simplify it for you, "There is no excuse for racism and their is never ever any excuse for the violent abuse of women either, not in china, not in the usa, no in latin america, not in any other country in the world either!" But as you also remind me quite justifiably too, "Not everyone in those countries is a racist or a woman abuser, too!" That is where the non-interference policy "falls flat on its face!" If the non-racist, that you claim to be a member of, or, the anti violence against women you maybe a part of, don't open up their mouths and say enough ie enough it's time to change. Then racist's among you and the women abusers among you will continue their bad boy behavior forever! As a wise man once said, "If you are not part of the solution then, the opposite being, you are part of the problem, get it?":-(

Savannah, I meant some of his points...not all of them

Thank you for your agreement, at least tacitly with me GD!

The first two weeks I was here I worked in a private high school with high school students. As would happen, though the class size was small (15 students) there is always one kid who wants to give you hell...lol...as you will soon find out too Savannah. From the minute I got to the classe this boy who was about 15 years kept making snide (didn't just come out and say "Jap" but I think you get my meaning) remarks about japan's agreesion against china during World War II, etc., etc.. No matter what I tried to do to steer the kid in the right direction he went the opposite. So, one day when I was at the "end of my rope" (about to write him up for the director to kick him out of my class) I noticed he was silent for a long time. LOL he was never that way any other day but that day so I was in total shock! I said to him, "hi, you need to stay after class I need to take you to the director's office." When all had left except me, he said very very snidely, "Go ahead, I don't want to be in no class with a jap teaching me english!" I want to get out of this damn class anyway!" It was then I said, "what's your problem young man, I mean, why are you even in here?" He said, "my mom wants me in here that's why she should listen to my dad and forget all these damn foreigngers coming to our land where we rule!" I said, 'Oh, you mom and dad do not agree on your being here?" That's when he accidentally slipped and the truth came out, "Yes man, my dad often hits my mother and told her to stop spending our money on these stupid monkey foreigners but she never stops she deserves what she gets!" Then I asked him, "how do you feel when your dad hits your mom?" He stopped, thought for a moment and said, "do you really want to know?" I said, "yes, then he told me as he started crying, "I hate it, I wish I were dead, ever since I was 9 years old all they ever do is fuss, argue and fight and my dad usually wins since he is stronger than my mom, too. I hear my mom crying and I have seen her bruises too which she tries to cover up with skin cream! Then I said, "Hmmm. what if I could solve this problem for you between your dad and your mom? He said, "are you serious, nobody in china can solve this problem it happens almost every single week here!" Aha, So, I took him to the director's office had him to sit outside her office and went in to talk to her about geting him "evicted" :-) But as I told her about his bad behavior in my class she began to cry, wow, blew me out of my seat! Then she said, "Ted, I know how that boy's mother feels, I was like her once (my director is 49 years old now)and my ex chinese husband hit me, knocked all my teeth out (she pulled her dentures out not a good sight to see at all) and never understood the importance of education for our 2 kids either. Everytime I went to an educational conference in our city or other cities he would wait for me to come home and say, "ha, which educated chinese man did you sleep with this time?" He knew I loved him and only him still it never failed his insane jealousy finally ended our marriage too. It was then I came up with a plan to teach that boy's father a lesson as well as his mother. I told the director my plan and she said, "Ok, I will arrange for his father and mother to both come here but I will not be in my office so that I can say with truth to my superiors, "I never knew anything about it!" Haha. though she did not help me she did not hurt me either, get it? lol:-) So, they came in and I had their son to translate to the father and mother how proud I was of their son's english abilities, how much a great man he would become in china one day, etc., etc., then I asked his father, "Sir, do you mind if I let your son become the leader in one of our class skits that touch on how a child can excell and make good grades?" His father was so overjoyed he said, "Yes!" That was his big mistake, as you will see later, haha....Finally the day of the skit came up...we had it after school around 6:30 pm where many parents could attend it too (you see I did not just want this message to get to his parents but to as many parents as I could (one important rule here is an american or foreigner cannot be in direct discussion with more than 3 chinese people in a group at one time, get it?). Technically, I was safe, cause I was not directing the skit/play his son was, get it? hehehehe...So his son became the narrator, and he went into a skit where several of the girl and boy students played variosu parts such as, Father, Mother, kids....etc. One of the kids made bad marks in school, he was not passing and his grades were falling, so the chinese father (another kid) stepped in and told his son (another chinese student), "Why arey you grades falling son? Why, I am paying a lot of money to get you here why are you wasting my money? Then the son answered (another chinese student), "Simple dad, why do I need to go to sehool you beat my mom up last night and I heared you say, "Who needs an education, you did good without one, so who needs it?" hahaha...do you get the point now? I guess I need to bring in some child psychology now, "Are you aware of the meaning of explicit and implicit messages?" An explicit message is one that comes from the "outside" and it relays to a child what you want to say to them. An implicit message is one that comes from the inside (like inside your home or house) and it also relays a message to your child too. What was the message? Let's put the messages together that were given by the father and the mother to this boy ok?

To The Father: If he keeps on telling his wife the message that education is not important and if he keeps on hitting her and abusing her, physically, mentally, and emotionally, she will learn to accept his unacceptable behavior and lose her own confidence in herself too. He will be encouraged since she does not stop him to continue his abusive behavior until one day it escalates to where he might even kill her, get it?

To The Wife: If she keeps on listening to her abusive husband and does nothing but let him hit her more and more and more she is sending a message to her son, and if she has one, her daughter too. That is this is ok don't worry about it, it's ok for your father to hit me, bruise me, and knock my teeth out!

To the child (boy or girl) When they witness things like this (racism in the house or violence against their mother by their father)they begin to think this is the normal way things work between men and women. It also makes a boy more willing to be an abuser than a lover and protector of the females in his house cause he sees his dad doing wrong and there are no conseuences to his father for his abhorrent behavior. To the daughter, she sees her mother getting hit, kicked, and punched, so naturally, without thinking about it, she will lean more towards acceptance of this violent behavior by men = she becomes his punching bag willingly because her mother never stood up to her father and told him, "Enough is enough I am not taking this anymore until you get some help for your problem!" So, you see now Savannah, the result of being proactive (preventing stuff like this) instead of just non-interference?

Now to GD, I ask you my brother, if you had a sister, "How would you feel if any man, not just chinese but usa too, started punching, hitting, slapping or abusing your sister? What would you do? Just smile? Lol, you know brother cause you are a man like me, "you would knock the "H" out of him and put him on his butt, wouldn't you?" Your sister is no man's punching bag and neither is mine! But, if she loved him, perhaps after you kicked his butt you would tell him like I mentioned here, "Man, you go get some help (counseling, mental, whatever) or I will help you alright, right back to the hole you came out of cause you will never again hit my sister, buddy!"

Edited 6 time(s). Last edit at 12/12/2011 07:41PM by Tchapm3.

Lisa

Excerpt from "Silent Victims: Abuse and Violence in the South Asian American Community." Please go to [italiandesi.wordpress.com] for more

"And so our children continue to suffer in silence, endure pain and violence, and have their souls, spirit, and bodies battered.

All of this is somehow justified under the guise of “culture.” “Indian culture” has “different” notions of discipline and ”Indian culture” believes in the gender norms that women have specific place, as do men. Both South Asians and non South Asians buy into this. Some of the literature that I have come across refers to “South Asian” and “Asian” culture which have values that differ from “American culture.” And we ourselves joke about this. I remember watching a Russell Peters clip with a friend of Pakistani origin. Peters was talking about how “white parents” are way too lenient with their children, in contrast to “Indian parents” who liberally smack their children around. “It’s so true,” my friend said with a chuckle. But I have heard this concept of “discipline” from black and white Americans who speak of “back in the day, our parents would never tolerate nonense; what kids need today is a good whoopin’.” My point is that anybody- whether they are of South Asian origin, white or black can justify violence against children. It’s not “South Asian culture” in and of itself, but a particular strand of culture that is being priveleged:

“Culture” is used by our communities to explain and justify violence against women. These claims are based on frozen, male-defined ideas of culture under the guise of upholding tradition. “Cultural freeze” associated with immigration is common in women and men, but when used to condone domestic violence it becomes destructive. “Cultural defenses” comes next: “people in my culture behave this way and believe women should be treated this way, so it is alright for me to do so”. Supposedly, these claims are defending the culture of the home country (be it Azerbaijan, Vietnam, etc.). What is in fact being defended is the culture of patriarchy in the home country. These defenses protect how patriarchy is expressed and reinforced in the home country in order to justify gender inequity and violence [Link].

And patriarchal notions exist in all societies and communities. The language that is being used to express this brand of culture may differ from region to region, community to community. But fundamentally, it is the same.

Then there’s the “society.” What will the “samaj” say? The society here functions as a social straightjacket: do not attempt to stick your arms out by engaging in actions that trangress the social boundaries. Divorce, leaving your husband, or notifying the authorities that your mother or father have abused you can make you feel like a pariah in one form or the other. Any action that can be translated as breaking the quintessential “Indian” family model- a two parent household, women who “make sacrifices” and endure anything and everything for the sake of the “family,” and children who “respect” their parents- invites social ostracism or feelings of isolation for having broken out of the mold.

And lastly, there’s family. What do you do if the people that should be the first ones there to help you - your family- pressure you to endure violence? We as South Asian Americans like to pride ourselves on the concept of “family.” “Family” is important in South Asian “culture,” presumably in contrast to “American culture.” But what the hell does “family” mean when even family members themselves induce or convince victims of abuse to just put up with it?

I don’t want to give the impression that abuse is a trademark of South Asian culture, as if wife beating, violence, emotional abuse and cruel punishment as discipline come to South Asians more naturally than to others. Abuse in America in general is a serious problem. But I do think that the discourse of violence is more suppressed in the South Asian American community. And since it’s silenced and repressed, the cycle simply repeats itself. Abuse is a subject that is largely relegated to the advocacy realm, such as organizations, shelters, and outreach programs. These are all band-aid solutions; attitudes regarding domestic violence and child abuse run much deeper within the community. But when your life is at risk, you don’t have the time to look at how large scale change can be implemented.

With that said, nothing- not family, not the “community,” nor culture- justifies violence against you or someone you know."
Go to Yahoo type in wife abuse from an asian american woman's perspective and you can read her story in its entirety ok? Three "cheers" for Lisa, it took a lot of courage to break the "wall of silence" (and as she also said, "become proactive instead of just staying with that old non-interference policy you quoted before Savannah in our asian american communities and admit that there is a problem there and it needs to be solved, understand? The asian men that I know who I asked to read this story, with few exceptions, including chinese too, all said, "there is no problem this girl is nothing but a slut or a whore!" She wants to have many relationships with white men that's why she wrote that demeaning article about us asian men...hahaha...do you still think Savananh, as they did? Is she a slut, is she a whore, or a harlot for telling what she says is the truth in our communities? If you do, shame on you! But probably you will say, "Oh, Ted, I do not know this woman enough to comment on her, right?" You don't need to know her Savannah to know that her "cause is righteous and it is just!" One more brief story here from a young korean model named "Esther (www.esther.com)!" She gives so much back to her mother's ancestral homeland of South Korea. Every year she buys "millions of dollars of toys and takes them back to korea for korean orphan kids to have a happy life. But guess what? Korean men in Korea and in the usa too call her a "white man's whore or a white man's slut, too? Is every asian woman who stands up for truth, honesty, and righteousness a slut or a whore? You decide!

Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 12/12/2011 07:46PM by Tchapm3.

Champ,
I will take time to read it, and get back to u. It is long, thank you for taking the time do the research.

LoL Champ,
You are very good at dramatizing the Chinese men's behavior toward their partners. Are you writing a novel now?
There are many shelters for that too. I know some Chinese men, some of them are pretty nice too, good husband, good father, etc. Don't paint all the men there with ugly brushes. Be fair, and do some googling on USA domestic violence and then write a report on it, just to be fair.

Point missed entirely again Savannah, at least GD admits there is a problem, you'd rather just push it under the rug and forget it, right? And if you had read the story right it did say in china and in the usa, didn't it? Next, I said, there are no shelters in china for battered and abused women as Lisa's story warned that as usual, "asians just try to ignore it or force the woman to continually stay in a situation that is "toxic" and abusive. She never said in any shape or form that the usa did not have abusive violent behavior towards women now did she? But she did say, at least here, the usa tries to do something to stop the violence, what does china do, absolutely "NOTHING!" Not wanting to be rude here but next time, "check your facts, alright?" Stop making excuses, stop brushing it under the rug as Lisa said happens in asian and asian american communities, alright? That is why she said, "it's time to break the wall of silence amongst asians and stop letting asian men abuse us! Got it? What was the response of asian and asian american men she mentioned? Simple, they accused her of being a slut, a whore, and a harlot too. You never answered the question again did you? Do you believe as the asian men did that she was a slut, a whore, or a harlot?

All of this is somehow justified under the guise of “culture.” “Indian culture” has “different” notions of discipline and ”Indian culture” believes in the gender norms that women have specific place, as do men. Both South Asians and non South Asians buy into this. Some of the literature that I have come across refers to “South Asian” and “Asian” culture which have values that differ from “American culture.” And we ourselves joke about this. I remember watching a Russell Peters clip with a friend of Pakistani origin. Peters was talking about how “white parents” are way too lenient with their children, in contrast to “Indian parents” who liberally smack their children around. “It’s so true,” my friend said with a chuckle. But I have heard this concept of “discipline” from black and white Americans who speak of “back in the day, our parents would never tolerate nonense; what kids need today is a good whoopin’.” My point is that anybody- whether they are of South Asian origin, white or black can justify violence against children. It’s not “South Asian culture” in and of itself, but a particular strand of culture that is being priveleged: [/u](translation simple "it's violence whether you are a south asian (including china) or not (usa too)!

“Culture” is used by our communities to explain and justify violence against women. These claims are based on frozen, male-defined ideas of culture under the guise of upholding tradition. “Cultural freeze” associated with immigration is common in women and men, but when used to condone domestic violence it becomes destructive. “Cultural defenses” comes next: “people in my culture behave this way and believe women should be treated this way, so it is alright for me to do so”. Supposedly, these claims are defending the culture of the home country (be it Azerbaijan, Vietnam, etc.). What is in fact being defended is the culture of patriarchy in the home country. These defenses protect how patriarchy is expressed and reinforced in the home country in order to justify gender inequity and violence [Link].

[u]“Culture” is used by our communities to explain and justify violence against women. These claims are based on frozen, male-defined ideas of culture under the guise of upholding tradition. “Cultural freeze” associated with immigration is common in women and men, but when used to condone domestic violence it becomes destructive. (Translation simple = Culture (south asian, chinese, vietnamese, korean, japanese, thai, indonsian, etc.) is just an excuse by the men in those countries to justify themselves in their abusive behavior against women! Is it that hard to understand what this lady is really telling you?) No one, in china, vietnam, the usa western europe etc., etc., has the right to physically, mentally, or socially abuse a woman no matter what your culture says, get it? The only difference between the victims of this abuse are "the usa, western europe, and latin countries are trying to change that. Asia, as a whole, on the other hand are just ignoring it and brushing it under the rug (laugh it off as nothing serious)! :-(

Champ,
That post of mine is referring to that boy in your school only. I haven't had chance to read that Lisa's story ok? Make sure you know what post I was replying to ok? Don't make rude accusation like that again ok? Thank you.

THank you for correcting my poor interpretation of your facts too.

Is this one of the reason why Asians like Chinese like me wanted to have nose job to make it look bigger, projected and proportional to my face?

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/15/2012 03:12AM by Andrewkim.

The results of biological evolution

hahaha,, i understand now

There is some really disgusting stuff in the definition of 犹. Who do I complain to?