Do you like the fact that the Chinese language is very specific and distinct when it comes to members of the family? Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that it appears that Chinese culture has much stronger family values than other cultures. In the Chinese language, there are very specific terms to distinguish whether that relative is:

1. Older or younger than you.
2. Male or female.
3. Paternal or Maternal.
4. Position on that generation.

On the contrary in English, terms such as cousin, aunt, or even grandfather does not really specify who the heck you are referring to. Even in the most casual terms such as if a woman says "My old man", is she referring to her father or her husband?

I’ll tell you a confusing situation when I was seven years old. At that time, I was not aware of the terms maternal and paternal, especially since in Western culture people rarely use those terms anyways. My paternal grandfather (爺爺) gave me a nice silver pendant. Then Jack asked me who gave that pendant to me. I was so damn confused as to how to respond that I remained silent. Of course, I knew the term grandfather but wait, it very ambiguous. If I tell Jack that my grandfather gave it to me, he still doesn’t know which grandfather gave it to me. How does Jack know if it’s my 爺爺or my 外公 that I’m talking about? If my father’s dad is my grandfather, then who is my mother’s dad?

I've noticed in the western world, even though there are terms that one can use such as paternal and maternal to distinguish which grandfather, rarely do people use such adjectives and instead use the ambiguous term grandfather. For me, since I'm so used to using 爺爺 and 外公, then by instinct I always use the terms paternal grandfather and maternal grandfather when I'm using English.

Do you appreciate the fact that the Chinese language is specific without any ambiguity with regards to the members of the family?

Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 05/26/2010 02:38PM by Bluemountain.

hello every body here , please i need some help from any body who can help , man or woman , i need to learn how to speak and write
Thanks
Chantal

Hi Bluemountain,

I am new to this board. Glad to know someone outside China is so interested in the Chinese language. Yes, as you have said, the Chinese language is very specific when it comes to referring to family members. As far as I know, in the past, people within three or more generations usually live within the same big family. In my case, my paternal grandfather has four brothers. The five brothers lived in the same village before they passed away. My maternal grandfather had an elder brother. In 1950s, my maternal grandfather's family, his parents and his brother's family all lived in the same big family. But after their parents passed away, the two brother's family later lived separately.
I don't know if you have ever heard of China's most famous classical novel, a dream of red mansions 红楼梦. In that novel, the author 曹雪芹 talked about the rise and decline of a big official family. In that extremely large family, 贾母, the dowager, lived with her two sons and her grandchildren and grandchilden's children. That's called 四世同堂 in Chinese, literally, four generations living under the same roof. That's the general picture of how chinese family members live within a big family.

I will try my best to describe how Chinese family members address each other. Hope it won't confuse you. Within the immediate family, there are 爸爸(father), 妈妈(mother), 哥哥(an elder brother), 姐姐(an elder sister), 弟弟(a younger brother), 妹妹（a younger sister）.

Within three generations, on your father's side, there are 爷爷（paternal grandfather）, 奶奶（paternal grandmother）,叔叔（a paternal uncle who is younger than your father）,伯父（a paternal uncle who is older than your father）,姑姑（a paternal aunt）, 堂兄（a paternal uncle or aunt's son who is older than you）, 堂弟（a paternl uncle or aunt's son who is younger than you）,堂姐（a paternal uncle or aunt's daughter who is older than you）, 堂妹（a paternl uncle or aunt's daughter who is younger than you）.

Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 06/07/2010 10:20AM by Cindy.Zhou.

On your mother's side, there are 外公/姥爷（maternal grandfather）, 外婆/姥姥（maternal grandmother）,舅舅（a maternal uncle）,姨（a maternal aunt）, 表兄（a maternal uncle or aunt's son who is older than you）, 表弟（a maternal uncle or aunt's son who is younger than you）,表姐（a maternal uncle or aunt's daughter who is older than you）, 表妹（a maternal uncle or aunt's daughter who is younger than you）.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/07/2010 10:22AM by Cindy.Zhou.

In English, we usually use aunt or aunt-in-law to address someone who has married your mother or father's brother. In Chinese, you address them more specifically. First, on your father's side, you call your 伯父's (your father's elder brother) wife 大妈, you call your 叔叔's (your father's younger brother) wife 婶婶. On your mother's side, you call your 舅舅's（your mother's brother) wife 舅妈. As for uncle or uncle-in-law, you call your 姨's(your mother's sister) husband 姨夫, you call your 姑姑's(your father's sister) husband 姑父.

When you grow up, your sisters and brothers all grow up and get married and have their own families. You address their husband or wife as sister-in-law or brother-in-law, which is simple. But in Chinese, the forms of address are very complicated, or even a bit confusing. In Chinese, you address your elder sister's husband as 姐夫, he refers to you as 小姨子(or 小舅子, which depends on whether you are a male or a female). You refer to your younger sister's husband as 妹夫, he refers to you as 大姐 or 大哥. You address your elder brother's wife as 嫂子, she refers to you as 小姑子 or 小叔子. You refer to your younger brother's wife as 弟妹, she addresses you as 大姐 or 大哥 in return. If you are a female and your husband has brothers or sisters, you address his elder sister as 大姐, you address his elder brother as 大哥. You refer to his younger sister as 小姑子, you refer to his younger brother as 小叔子. If you are a male and your wife has sisters and brothers. You address her elder sister as 大姐 and her elder brother as 大哥. You refer to her younger sister as 小姨子 and her younger brother as 小舅子.

If you are a foreigner and feel totally confused about the above titles, don't worry. You are not alone. Actually, even as a native Chinese, I myself couldn't distinguish all those complicated relations like 小姨子, 小舅子, 小姑子, 小叔子 without the help of a search engine. Since you may know that, due to China's population control project, in my generation, most Chinese are the only kid in their families.

When you and your sisters or brothers grow old enough to give birth to the next generation, you may want to know how to address their children. In English, there are only two words: niece and nephew. Don't worry, in Chinese, it's also very simple. You refer to your sister's son as 外甥 and your sister's daughter as 外甥女. You refer to your brother's son as 侄子 and your brother's daughter as 侄女.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/07/2010 10:27AM by Cindy.Zhou.

Good examples, Cindy.Zhou.

I've noticed that it's not only when it comes to family members, but there is also ambiguity when it comes to titles in the English language. When one hears the term Dr. Wang, it doesn't clarify whether Dr. Wang is an M.D. (醫師) or a PhD (博士). At least the Chinese language clearly distinguishes between 王醫生 and 王教授.

We don't expect Dr. Wang, history professor to give me medical attention when I really need it.

Yes, but sometimes Chinese terms are too specific, which is also a problem. I didn't list them all. There are a lot of other terms like 令尊、令堂、令夫人、令爱、令公子、令千金、爹、娘、家慈、家严、家父、家母、闺女、小子、千金、岳父、岳母、女婿、婆婆、儿媳、老公公、老婆婆、弟媳、丈母娘、老丈人、翁婿、妯娌. Even for senior Chinese learners, such terms could be quite confusing.

Yes Chinese language is quite confusing especially when talking with folks in China, they tend to have their own Chinese version.. Which is quite confusing.

"First, on your father's side, you call your 伯父's (your father's elder brother) wife 大妈". Not really. It depends on where you're from and what dialect you speak. I never use 大妈 for my uncle's wife. Most of time, it's 伯母. 大妈 = your father's first wife, if and only if your own biological mother is your father's second or third wife, etc... 大妈 could just be another way of addressing an older woman [who is not related to you in any way].

Source:
[www.nciku.com]