Do you think divorce is extremely bad and shameful? I sure do.

What I love about the Chinese culture are the very important family values, one of which is the ability to keep their marital vows and maintain their marriages. While divorce among the Chinese may be increasing somewhat, it still doesn’t compare to many western societies, especially in the Canada and the USA. I’m really disgusted at the high divorce rates in America.

In the elementary school I went to, over half of my classmates had divorced parents. What I found noticed was that there was a strong correlation between whether the kid had divorced parents and whether the kid did poorly in school or were misbehaving teachers pests. Because kids in single parent families lack the parental contributions of BOTH parents and thus, they are often misguided and often show disciplinary problems. And that trend continues in my professional life as about half of all my colleagues have been involved with a divorce.

I really commend the Chinese for being able to resolve any marital problems and they were really smart to marry the right person. I’m very proud that my parents have been married for nearly 40 years, both sets of parents long exceeded their golden anniversaries at 55+ years, and there not a single divorce among anyone else in my large, extended family. The same thing can be said about the large families of my closest Chinese friends. I know that all marriages have their share of difficulties, but the question really begs asking: why is it that most Chinese couples are able to resolve their marital problems and keep their vows, while most American couples cannot and must divorce? It looks like Americans are very impatient, selfish, uncompromising, and stubborn and they must divorce. They also show extreme stupidity to have married their bad spouses in the first place.

I sure hope the Chinese can keep and maintain their good, loyal marriages and keep their divorce rates at a low.

Funny how you don't attack Sweden, Belarus, Finland, Luxembourg, Estonia or Australia, all of whom have Divorce rates higher than the USA. Instead you just start insulting the USA. almost like you don't actually care about divorce rates, you just watn to be a biggoted idiot and try to make people angry...

My message was more to commend the Chinese culture instead of criticizing other countries with higher divorce rates. But yes, I can just as easily criticize other countries with high divorce rates as well. I only referenced Canada and the USA because I've actually lived in both countries and directly experienced the high divorce rates in those nations.

Three Chinese article concerning divorce recent evolution in China.

1. 中国离婚率超30% (China.com.cn / 2010-03-21)

韩国的离婚率在经合组织国家中高居第二位。
Korea is already the second highest divorce rate country from OECD.
实际上，当中国等东方国家的离婚率在提高时，欧洲的离婚率已经在高位出现了轻微的下降。以德国为例，2008年有19.19万对夫妻离婚,比2004年少了2.2万对。德国一位婚姻法专家认为，人们有离婚的权利，但不能滥用这种权利。任何时候，离婚者都应首先考虑对老人、孩子、家庭、社会的义务承诺。
In fact, as divorce rate is increasing in China and other Asian country, the divorce rate is decreasing in Europe. For example in Germany the number of divorce has decrease from 220,000 in 2004 to 191,900 in 2008. A mariage specialist think couple think first about their parents, kids, family...
过去20多年，美国人的离婚率持续走低，目前已跌至1970年以来的最低点。
In the past 20 years the divorce rate has been decreasing in USA, to his lowest level since 1970.

2. 北京离婚率高达50.90％ (bjpopss.gov.cn / 2006-09-26)
Beijing divorce rate reaches 50.9%

3. 2009年我国离婚率增长10.3% 高于结婚增长率 (qq.com / 2010-02-03)
In 2009 China's divorce rate increase by 10%, and is now higher than the rise of marriage rate

Quote:
Bluemountain: I sure hope the Chinese can keep and maintain their good, loyal marriages and keep their divorce rates at a low.

Sorry for the bad news...

Bluemountain Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My message was more to commend the Chinese culture
> instead of criticizing other countries with higher
> divorce rates. But yes, I can just as easily
> criticize other countries with high divorce rates
> as well. I only referenced Canada and the USA
> because I've actually lived in both countries and
> directly experienced the high divorce rates in
> those nations.

Bullshit. Your message was plainly to also insult and talk shit about Canada and the USA. You failed to mention that OUR divorce rate is DROPPING while China's rises rapidly. You also failed to mention that Canada has HALF the divorce rate of the USA. Why? because your an ignorant Nationalist retard who doesn't care about facts, all you care is to insult other people. It's sick.

If we want to talk about healthy relationships in China my ex-girlfriend's uncle beat his wife and gambled all their money away but his wife wouldn't leave because it wasn't proper to have a divorce in China. I know quite a few husbands and wives who don't love the one they are with as they were basically arranged marriages for improving the family status and they wont leave their partner because divorce is bad but a number of them sure do love to sleep around with other people.

Every country has bad and good relationships. A low divorce rate in China doesn't say anything except that it is a traditional country where divorce is not viewed as proper. As China is becoming more modernized their divorce rate is skyrocketing. And the VAST majority of divorces are done by women, women who until recently would never divorce because they'd lose everything they had, be looked down on by society and would find it very difficult to find a job.

The rising divorce rate in China doesn't show a degrading in morals or social standards, it shows an increase in women's ability to be independant. According to China's statistics about 70% of divorces were done by women and only 10% were done without justifiable reasons. Which means the vast majority of divorces were not people not respecting marriage, they were people leaving a marriage that was no good. how is this Shamefull?

I used the crude divorce rate at:
[en.wikipedia.org]

For me, I've set the standard at 1.50. Divorce is shameful because they had a choice to marry, and they chose to marry the wrong person.

Bluemountain Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I used the crude divorce rate at:
> [en.wikipedia.org]
>
> For me, I've set the standard at 1.50. Divorce is
> shameful because they had a choice to marry, and
> they chose to marry the wrong person.

Right and you've never made a mistake, you are perfect and only do what is perfect and right for yourself!

Everyone makes mistakes, soemtimes the person you marry turns out differently than you thought or becomes abusive later. what should you do? Let them beat you?

Do you even know anything about divorce rate patterns? In the US there is a quick pattern on the inner states (red) having less divorces than the outer states (blue). This pattern is even found when comparing developed nations vs others. Its simple. The more educated people are the higher chance they will divorce. Why educated people divorce more is unclear but it has to do with how they are more capable of divorcing. Because they are more capable of being independent and breaking free.

You will also notice that the more educated and independent a person is the more likely they can break free from family members. Notice how independent American girls think that if a guy is living with his parents he is a loser.

Being more educated and independent makes people reform their lives into the world they desire. Its because they have a lot of power to reform their lives they usually rather reform than fix it when major problems show up.

Being less educated and more dependent leaves you to stay with what you have. They don't have the power to reform. They need it even if they don't like it so they either try fixing things or just be tolerant about problems.

And yes you do see China having this pattern. More and more people are getting higher education, especially overseas. Such power to reform the lives they desire. In fact a lot of them don't plan to go back to China where their parents are because of the great lives they have formed overseas. Divorcing is actually quite hard and damaging so you do need some power to do so.

"Why educated people divorce more is unclear but it has to do with how they are more capable of divorcing. Because they are more capable of being independent and breaking free."

Which makes a lot of sense when you look at the statistics and see the main people asking for divorces in modern societies are women, and they are very people who couldn't ask for divorce in traditional societies. Divorce isn't a shame, it's a sign that your women are becoming independant and that's a good thing.

Is divorce a good thing?

IMHO, yes, anyone can break away free from a marriage, which used to be extremely difficult for females in the past because of burdens of making a living. The more educated females are, the higher possibility they choose to leave an unhappy marriage.

Is divorce a bad thing?

Yes, the negtive influence of a divorce on children is so strong that goese beyond calculation.

Practically, no one is happy alone in the long run and they start to seek another marriage or relationship. There's something magic in stable Chinese marriages, the art to letting out pressure, tolerance, war and peace, the tighter bond of emotions and commitment, and a happy marriage.

why divorce rate increases rapidly in china?

Because of popular western education in schools and more people are taking in western pattern of thinking and value system.

Good news is, the Chinese traditional value and wisdom are coming back.

Johnsaki Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is divorce a good thing?
>
> IMHO, yes, anyone can break away free from a
> marriage, which used to be extremely difficult for
> females in the past because of burdens of making a
> living. The more educated females are, the higher
> possibility they choose to leave an unhappy
> marriage.
>
> Is divorce a bad thing?
>
> Yes, the negtive influence of a divorce on
> children is so strong that goese beyond
> calculation.
>
> Practically, no one is happy alone in the long run
> and they start to seek another marriage or
> relationship. There's something magic in stable
> Chinese marriages, the art to letting out
> pressure, tolerance, war and peace, the tighter
> bond of emotions and commitment, and a happy
> marriage.
>
> why divorce rate increases rapidly in china?
>
> Because of popular western education in schools
> and more people are taking in western pattern of
> thinking and value system.
>
> Good news is, the Chinese traditional value and
> wisdom are coming back.


Bullshit,you misdeem modernization as westernization.China is modernizing,not westernizing.

Its sometimes the workplace. And divorces happen to be young people. The work place doesn't pay well to fresh grads/young people and demands the young workers to go over time. Which means they spend less time with their lover.

I've seen plenty of guys that stood their girlfriends up for work. It ain't cool but most guys and girls here in China really do put their career as first priorty. Even before their lover and parents. And most of these kids are graduates of China's high schools and universities and never set foot out of China.

The workplace exploits young people to be too competitive to the point they are giving up their lives. Marrying to their work and telling all the loved ones (lover and family/parents) to piss off. The whole Overtime thing is not just China. But this is an issue where sometimes you just don't see friends anymore because they go overtime everytime!

What's shocking is that young people in China get married naively at a young age. They hardly get any time or money to sustain it.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/07/2010 04:26AM by Moroes.

Kurt Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Johnsaki Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > why divorce rate increases rapidly in china?
> >
> > Because of popular western education in schools
> > and more people are taking in western pattern
> of
> > thinking and value system.
> >
> > Good news is, the Chinese traditional value and
> > wisdom are coming back.
>
>
> Bullshit,you misdeem modernization as
> westernization.China is modernizing,not
> westernizing.

Thank You. So sick of Chinese people talking about the evils of the West invading their country. China's modernizing. Get over it. If you don't like it go back to living under your emperors and slaughtering each other every 100 years.

And the idea that chinese traditional value is coming back is a joke. Big cities decide where countries go, countryside follow them 10-15 years later, big cities in China are not regressing to traditional values.

Quote:

2009年共246.8万对办理离婚手续 增长8.8％ (june 10, 2010)
In 2009, 2.468 million couples divorced in China, 8.8% more than the previous year.

[acc6.its.brooklyn.cuny.edu]

There are several articles here but if you look past the first few you will see one concerning divorce in modern China. Although the article is quite old, it seems to examine the reasons for the low divorce rate in the past and the rising divorce rate in recent times. I think that reading this article can help a person be better informed and make a more logical argument on either side of this subject. Facts are facts, and despite what each of us wants or hopes is true, marriages can be ugly, and the general evidence seems to point to the fact that as women approach equality and fairness in society, the divorce rate will rise until a marriage is good for both people involved. When men and women treat each other with love, respect, support, and do not cheat or look outside the marriage for sex, then the divorce rates will fall again.

Having a good value of family is good ,but don't discriminate the ones who divorced.Everyone has the right to rechoose .

Divorce is something that could almost be considered "Contagious". Believe it or not but, It does not matter what country you are in. If you are in a mass population where divorce is predominant, Than you are more likely to divorce yourself. We, As humans, Are very culturally sensitive. We look to others for many different aspects of our lives. If the mass deems it acceptable, We are less likely to oppose or reject it. We are social creatures, We can not learn/adapt/grow without other influences. Unfortunately this works in good, And bad ways.

Hmmmm but having affair and cheating are quite common.... Wives just take it. Sucks.