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Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Lordarithon (IP Logged)
Date: June 21, 2009 11:29AM
Matty that was brilliant. I like your post.

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Moroes (IP Logged)
Date: June 21, 2009 11:24PM
I don't like regular girls with no motives. I prefer the devil i know than the devil i don't know. And most regular girls get so jealous and sour when you have famale freinds. They will tell you to never see them again so you lose friends thanks to her insecurity. They also try to change all my habits like less computer games and more her. With the "WoW or me?" Those manipulative devils!!!! Try manipulating them back and they might say you are disrespecting them.

There is no such thing as unconditional love. There are always terms and conditions. Its just better to know what those terms and conditions are before you F yourself sideways.

When i accept the terms and conditions i will make conditions for my own known as a prenuptial agreement. Which i know she would reject. And then the wedding is off. And I will forever be a bachelor. Which i like grinning smiley. FREEEEEEEDOM! But my stupid human instincts will make me go get another girlfriend and then the drama starts all over again.

And i just scratched the surface. There's just so much to it. If there wasn't books about searching for love would not be top sellers. Especially the "He's just not into you", even made a movie, is what girls are all talking about. Its like their dating bible now, creepy.

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Uberche (IP Logged)
Date: June 22, 2009 12:52AM
Yeah I agree. I've had so many girls (especially in China) tell me I have to stop seeing friends or stop playing games and whatnot. I always just refuse and either they go away or they learn to live with it but once someone makes that demand I pretty much consider the relationship over because it's always going to bother them and sooner or later they are going to freak out over it again.

I also have never understood people's hatred of prostitution. When at the same time I've heard from many girls both in the west and in China that if their bf didn't buy them something or didn't do something for them they'd take away sex. Congratulations, You're a prostitute! Prostitution should be legalized and controlled, less disease, less stigma and more opportunity for those women to get ahead and do things on their own instead of needing some asshole pimp to protect them.

They should really just set up some sort of one minute marriage that the Pimps can do so that giving the girl money is legal, then have a quick one minute divorce after sex....

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Ponpon (IP Logged)
Date: June 22, 2009 01:29AM
Moroes Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I don't like regular girls with no motives. I
> prefer the devil i know than the devil i don't
> know. And most regular girls get so jealous and
> sour when you have famale freinds. They will tell
> you to never see them again so you lose friends
> thanks to her insecurity. They also try to change
> all my habits like less computer games and more
> her. With the "WoW or me?" Those manipulative
> devils!!!! Try manipulating them back and they
> might say you are disrespecting them.
>
hahahahaha,okay~~there're really many jealous and sour girls,recently one of my male friends(he is my best male friends,we 4 classmates operated a swimming suit shop and really well co-operated last year,and we are good frineds since we came to shagnhai 2 years ago).then he got a girl friend(she is actually we 3 girls' common friend,schoolmate),then one day they had a great quarrel,because his gf thought he met us too much and spent too much time with us(but most most most are team activities like travelling,sports,and ktvs and shopping,and we are just good friends,can never develop a relationship~~) then we said okay, just let him go with her, and he promised we are still good friends even we can not spend time together smiling smiley sigh ~~~ whatever, they seem happy now,maybe that's their style.

but sometimes boys are jealous,though.once one complained that why not care about his dozens of girl friends and vedio games(he like to play some killing games) like other girls,i replied why i should?then he was a little angry,and i realized then explained all at once because i asked him why did he like the game once and he told me the reason,i thought it's okay,really understandable,so i just send him a handspike as gift. emmm,girl friends,i thought they were really nice peoplesad smiley ~~~hehe. but i do think that's part of reasons why the chemistry disappeared.

i think maybe we have to control well between over-jealous and never-jealous...much more difficult than mathematics function and research papers,hehehe. headache~~

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Uberche (IP Logged)
Date: June 22, 2009 04:20AM
yeah I had one girlfriend who was always furious I wasn't jealous of her friends... it didn't last long. Seems there's not much trust between boys and girls in China sometimes...

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Ponpon (IP Logged)
Date: June 22, 2009 04:45AM
hehehe,emm, trust~~my friends and i share another reason, we are all too young that we love ourselves too much,so have no much concern about others, someone he/she thinks he/she is special to you~~and my roommate contributed another opinion,to trust someone you have never known before(or you meet by random) is very probable to expose yourself to get hurt in big cities like shanghai, shenzhen, beijing...you can change your job,your phone number,then rent a new department,in the same city or just move to another,it's easy to disappear.

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Lordarithon (IP Logged)
Date: June 22, 2009 11:58AM
I found it funny how in the beginning when I first started dating my wife that she told me I couldn't talk to my internet friends who were female yet it was ok for her to hang out with guy friends. Her reason was that girls don't cheat and guys do. I found out later she broke up with her ex because he was talking to his ex girlfriend through email, he got back together with her, and cheated on my wife while they were together.

So I talked with her about it, and all is fine now I think...lol. But I find it funny how she holds to this idea that girls don't cheat. I find it funny that most of the Chinese girls that we know say this. Only 2 ever agree with me. My wife says they only agree with me just to be nice. None of the Chinese guys ever say much about the subject they stay quiet...a bunch of sissies if you ask me...

Anyway I find it hilarious that these girls tell me this because most of the stories we hear it's about a Chinese girls cheating on some boyfriend or husband. It's actually been rare if we hear it the other way around. Still they hold to this idea.

Yet I find it funny. I remember reading about a year ago that there was a study done on 1st year married couples. It said that 1 in 7 first year marriages has someone in the marriage cheating on the other. They said that 12% of men cheat int he first year, and that 18% of women cheat in the first year.

So yeah, that's all I have to say about that.

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Uberche (IP Logged)
Date: June 23, 2009 01:30AM
yeah women all over the world cheat just as much as guys. Almost every study done has shown this.... It's just men like to pretend girls are so innocent and wonderful so we accept these lies to make us feel good...

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Moroes (IP Logged)
Date: June 23, 2009 02:32AM
Men report their scores out in the open where even women can hear. Women report their scores in the ladies room where no men can hear.

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Lordarithon (IP Logged)
Date: June 23, 2009 09:53AM
LOL and now the girls of this forum are quiet lol.

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Ponpon (IP Logged)
Date: June 23, 2009 10:39AM
hehehe,moroes was right.but about cheating,i am doing it right now,write mba paper for my big boss,sigh~~~~~

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Lordarithon (IP Logged)
Date: June 24, 2009 11:34AM
I've read once that Chinese women will cheat, even for years they will have someone on the side, and they will never tell anyone. It will be a secret kept to themselves for life.

It made me smile because I know I maybe a delicious secret kept for life LOL.

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Emilyyao (IP Logged)
Date: June 26, 2009 04:52AM
hey, Tb1570


here is my piece of advice for you. i think the best way to find a good girl that you should be a normal guy first.


i am a smoker and sometimes drink with friends, but surely not a alcoholic. A good girl which not mean she can not have some bad habits cuz everybody does. Attitude is the most important thing for us. i believe i am a good girl!
thumbs upgood luck !dude~~~

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Lordarithon (IP Logged)
Date: June 26, 2009 06:46AM
Emily as long as you aren't picking your nose in public or scratching your ass for everyone one to see, I don't think it's all too bad lol.

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Uberche (IP Logged)
Date: June 26, 2009 08:56AM
Lordarithon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Emily as long as you aren't picking your nose in
> public or scratching your ass for everyone one to
> see, I don't think it's all too bad lol.

wait... maybe the ass one isn't so bad... do you have a nice ass is the question we should solve first....

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Lordarithon (IP Logged)
Date: June 26, 2009 09:32AM
No, anyone scratching and picking at their ass in public is nasty...doesn't matter how nice the ass is or not...

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Uberche (IP Logged)
Date: June 26, 2009 09:57AM
Yeah... I guess that's true. it's more the rub that is ok.

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Lordarithon (IP Logged)
Date: June 26, 2009 02:53PM
Are we talking about an on the street live britney spears video now??

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Ponpon (IP Logged)
Date: June 27, 2009 10:07PM
spinning smiley sticking its tongue outspinning smiley sticking its tongue outspinning smiley sticking its tongue out,heeey,i am willing to talking about the cheating topic~~~my friend told me just do it like i am helping my friends' homework(we did it), and some said it's just what the real society works~~some said maybe my boss thought i am his friend and intern as long as he said could you do me a favor,seemed not job assignment.all in all,he was a nice boss before the mba paper.
i finished the paper and sent to him,but i started to send resumee to other companies since then.howerver,my friend warned me that it's just a favor.and this is good lesson for a freshbird to learn to be an employee.
it didn't bother me that much but sometimes i was really confused

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Lordarithon (IP Logged)
Date: June 28, 2009 04:13PM
OK now I'm confused. Did you mean cheating on homework, cheating in a relationship, or did you mean cheating on someone is like cheating on your homework?? lol

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Ponpon (IP Logged)
Date: June 28, 2009 09:40PM
hehe,my fault that i ran away the point cheating in relationship.i meant cheating on academical thesis. it was my boss' MBA thesis and his homework,but he turned to me for help,u know,i was first shocked that he dared to ask help for thesis,but i didn't know how to say no.my friends warned me not to do that if i didn't wanna lose job,but i am just intern so i really didn't care much.but then i cousin who is also a manager said it's not a big deal,just common sad smiley
as for cheating in relationship,no involved experience yet~i am nice,and 2 boys i dated were nice too,though it didn't mean that nice+nice would be together forever,hehehe spinning smiley sticking its tongue outseemed no one cheated yet.but i do know some cheating stories from my friends,i shared somewhere in this forum(but i can not remember where)

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Lordarithon (IP Logged)
Date: June 28, 2009 10:27PM
lol I think it was earlier in this thread that you shared the cheating stories.

OK now I understand what happened with your boss lol.

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Emilyyao (IP Logged)
Date: June 29, 2009 01:13AM
hey, Lordarithon

that's was so impressive! i do pickng my nose and scratching my ass just like anybody else, but not in the public! thnx for your advise!!! i just want to say that you can be a jerk sometimes, but not always acting like that.

It’s so sad because I see so many inconsiderate people around me every day — people who only care about what they want and don’t think of others, don’t see things from the perspective of other people. People who cut you off in traffic, who cut in front of you in line, who say rude things, who take your parking spot, who hurt your feelings. I try to brush these things off, but it’s unfortunate that so many people are so inconsiderate.
YOU ARE SO PATHETIC! Please just stop being a jerk!

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Emilyyao (IP Logged)
Date: June 29, 2009 01:21AM
Uberche Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Lordarithon Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Emily as long as you aren't picking your nose
> in
> > public or scratching your ass for everyone one
> to
> > see, I don't think it's all too bad lol.
>
> wait... maybe the ass one isn't so bad... do you
> have a nice ass is the question we should solve
> first....



Uberche
i do have a nice ass so are you satisfied now?

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Lordarithon (IP Logged)
Date: June 29, 2009 02:02AM
LOL well I told you as long as it's not in public it's all good, cuz I'm pretty sure everyone on the planet does these things. As for being a jerk, yes I never said I was a really great guy, at least not 100% great to people I don't know or who I'm not friendly with.

As for the things you mentioned, yes those are reasons why I wish humanity would be destroyed.

Now as for being inconsiderate, please let me know when so that way I may apologize or clear something up for you.

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Emilyyao (IP Logged)
Date: June 29, 2009 02:34AM
Lordarithon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> LOL well I told you as long as it's not in public
> it's all good, cuz I'm pretty sure everyone on the
> planet does these things. As for being a jerk,
> yes I never said I was a really great guy, at
> least not 100% great to people I don't know or who
> I'm not friendly with.
>
> As for the things you mentioned, yes those are
> reasons why I wish humanity would be destroyed.
>
> Now as for being inconsiderate, please let me know
> when so that way I may apologize or clear
> something up for you.

that's was helpful ! i feel better now ! smiling smiley

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Lordarithon (IP Logged)
Date: June 29, 2009 07:25AM
um, ok. Glad I could help.

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Uberche (IP Logged)
Date: June 30, 2009 12:34AM
Emilyyao Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Uberche
> i do have a nice ass so are you satisfied now?

Of course not. How could one be satisfied without seeing this "nice ass"? winking smiley

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Chinese.Girlfriend (IP Logged)
Date: September 10, 2009 09:09AM
Hi Matty -

I agree with so much of what you wrote. In my experience, some guys need to fall in love first before they really want to learn about Chinese culture.

I like how you suggest that he takes it slow. I'm not saying rush into anything...but if he does fall in love, and he has a Chinese girlfriend, then he's going to be way more motivated to learn Chinese culture than if he waits on the sidelines.

You give great advice to the OP! I love your words about being honest and simply seeking a normal girl with no motives.

- cgfspinning smiley sticking its tongue out



Matty Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Your entire question will lead you in the wrong
> direction.
> Firstly, stop looking for a girlfriend, avoid
> getting a girlfriend at all costs, there are many
> many nice Chinese girls out there, don't be in a
> rush, don't search, be patient and you will meet
> the right girl. Rushing is what will get you stuck
> with a bad girl.
> Secondly the people you want to meet, don't want
> to meet you.
> The best way to meet a good Chinese girl is
> through non-foreign friends.
> If they want you to help them with English,
> don't.
> I recommend joining some university clubs, maybe
> martial arts or something, something that
> interests you.
> The people who have no interest in you, want
> nothing from you. If they become your friend, it's
> for no motives and many of those will become good
> friends.
> Just try and take in as much Chinese culture as
> you can, be with Chinese people and be almost
> Chinese. You'll soon find that everywhere is
> filled with good girls. If you're looking for a
> girlfriend you'll be seen as a foreigner with bad
> motives.
> I've been here for a few years now, I'm relatively
> well known and I have no girlfriend. I'm now known
> as honest and everyone knows my motives, I don't
> just jump into a relationship, I'm in no rush and
> the world is open to me.
> I could find a good girlfriend easily, but I'm
> waiting for the right one, the important thing is
> many people know this and my honesty, which
> generates trust. Trust I've earnt and deserve.
>
> Just be honest, and in China, be Chinese.
>
> Don't rush looking for a girlfriend, expose
> yourself to Chinese culture on daily activities
> and clubs that aren't related to foreigners.
> You'll soon find out they're not so rare.
> But if you start treating girls wrong or look like
> a playboy your reputation will be destroyed and
> the normal girls wont look at you.
>
> The end truth is, you're not after a "good girl",
> you're after a normal girl with no motives. Once
> you realise this, and know that you need to earn
> respect and also deserve it, you'll find such
> issues fade away. You'll have so much choice that
> you can take your time to select the right girl.
> Just don't rush in and try one after another till
> you find the right one, that will be counter
> productive. You're not in the west anymore.

--
Ask about Chinese culture

Re: How to meet a good Chinese girlfriend?
Posted by: Foreignman (IP Logged)
Date: September 18, 2009 12:07PM
Lisalei Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 很同情你的不幸遭遇,对任何人来讲�
> �情被骗都不好受。
>
>
> 我是一个中国女孩,平时也没有机会�
> �触外国人。我觉得有少部分人会认为�
> ��跟一个老外在一起是一种荣耀,认为
> 很多老外都很有钱,跟了老外可以出�
> �等等。所以如果是有了这些想法的人�
> ��当然要费劲心思地去接近老外(对于
> 这种人我也很反感)。其实绝大多数�
> �孩、男孩都是好孩子,他们过着自己�
> ��本平淡的生活,踏实、勤奋,不会刻
> 意去追求什么,所以相对于那些你在ba
> r里遇到的女孩子的心态,好孩子们对�
> ��你来讲不太容易接触到了。不过不要
> 灰心,你可以多认识些中国朋友,你�
> �终会发现还是好人多~!
>
>
> 同时我觉得bar里的女孩子不见得都不�
> �(虽然我没去过,有时我也很想去,�
> ��是没有机会),那里只是个娱乐休闲
> 的场所,喜欢那种氛围的人都会去的�
> �只是你需要睁大眼睛看清她不是那种�
> ��烟喝酒的坏女孩!
>
>
> 对于找个外国人结婚的问题,我和家�
> �、朋友也都讨论过。我只希望无论是�
> ��国人还是外国人,大家在一起都要真
> 诚、坦率,有共同的兴趣爱好,喜爱�
> �方的文化,接受对方的生活习惯。最�
> ��我好不容易发现一个另我喜欢的中国
> 男孩子,我也对他表达了“我喜欢你�
> �,我不在乎他有钱没钱、工作如何,�
> ��是我不知是因为自己太直率另他不好
> 接受还是他真的不想接受我,他没有�
> �我明确的回答。在这方面,我还是很�
> ��欢西方人的热情、奔放、坦率!
>
> Soory for my English is poor,so I write in
> chinese!

Here my friend, I have translated it for you, I hope it is almost correct.

FM

Sympathy for your misfortune, and nobody is having a hard time in terms of feelings of being cheated.

I am a Chinese girl, usually there is no chance to contact with foreigners. I think there are a handful of people would think that matter sorted out with a foreigner as an honor that many foreigners are rich, you can leave the country with a foreigner and so on. So, if it is with these thoughts, of course, have to to worry to get close to the foreigner (for such people I am also very disgusted). In fact, the vast majority of girls, boys are in school, they live a life of its own original plain, practical, hard-working, would not bother to pursue anything, so relative to those encountered in your bar girls mentality, good kid are not very easy for you in terms of access to the. But do not lose heart, you can learn more about some Chinese friends, you will eventually find a good man, or more ~!

At the same time I think the bar where the girl is not necessarily bad (although I have not been to, and sometimes I also want to go, but no chance), there is only a place for recreation and leisure, like the kind of atmosphere people will go, only that you need to open their eyes wide to see that she is not the kind of smoking, drinking, the Bad Girl!

Married to foreigners to find the problem, my family and friends are also discussed. I only hope that both Chinese and foreigners, we should be together, sincere, frank, there are common interests, hobbies, love each other's culture, to accept each other's habits. Recently I finally found another one of my favorite Chinese boy, and I expressed to him "I love you," I do not care about his money or not, how the work, but I do not know them because they are too blunt to accept the other, he bad Or he did not want to accept me, he did not give me a clear answer. In this regard, I very much like the Western enthusiasm, lively, frank!

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