Hi Matty -
I agree with so much of what you wrote. In my experience, some guys need to fall in love first before they really want
to learn about Chinese culture.
I like how you suggest that he takes it slow. I'm not saying rush into anything...but if he does fall in love, and he has a Chinese girlfriend, then he's going to be way more motivated to learn Chinese culture than if he waits on the sidelines.
You give great advice to the OP! I love your words about being honest and simply seeking a normal girl with no motives.
> Your entire question will lead you in the wrong
> Firstly, stop looking for a girlfriend, avoid
> getting a girlfriend at all costs, there are many
> many nice Chinese girls out there, don't be in a
> rush, don't search, be patient and you will meet
> the right girl. Rushing is what will get you stuck
> with a bad girl.
> Secondly the people you want to meet, don't want
> to meet you.
> The best way to meet a good Chinese girl is
> through non-foreign friends.
> If they want you to help them with English,
> I recommend joining some university clubs, maybe
> martial arts or something, something that
> interests you.
> The people who have no interest in you, want
> nothing from you. If they become your friend, it's
> for no motives and many of those will become good
> Just try and take in as much Chinese culture as
> you can, be with Chinese people and be almost
> Chinese. You'll soon find that everywhere is
> filled with good girls. If you're looking for a
> girlfriend you'll be seen as a foreigner with bad
> I've been here for a few years now, I'm relatively
> well known and I have no girlfriend. I'm now known
> as honest and everyone knows my motives, I don't
> just jump into a relationship, I'm in no rush and
> the world is open to me.
> I could find a good girlfriend easily, but I'm
> waiting for the right one, the important thing is
> many people know this and my honesty, which
> generates trust. Trust I've earnt and deserve.
> Just be honest, and in China, be Chinese.
> Don't rush looking for a girlfriend, expose
> yourself to Chinese culture on daily activities
> and clubs that aren't related to foreigners.
> You'll soon find out they're not so rare.
> But if you start treating girls wrong or look like
> a playboy your reputation will be destroyed and
> the normal girls wont look at you.
> The end truth is, you're not after a "good girl",
> you're after a normal girl with no motives. Once
> you realise this, and know that you need to earn
> respect and also deserve it, you'll find such
> issues fade away. You'll have so much choice that
> you can take your time to select the right girl.
> Just don't rush in and try one after another till
> you find the right one, that will be counter
> productive. You're not in the west anymore.
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