Hey,
I need a Chinese guy's opinion on this...

I am dating a Chinese man, and well... his ex fiance called me a whore... and he and his ex are still friends... so I said, tell her the truth and he said 'it was a mistake she called me a whore no truth needed' when I saw the conversation and it wasn't a mistake...his ex makes me feel very very uncomfortable. So I said pick her or me.. and he says it's unnecessary decision and well he won't pick.. I said, fine I will pick for you and I said I would leave, he guilt tripped me into staying... so... I need a guy's perspective because I can ask my friends (guys and girls) and he says its not the same when its from another girls perspective. But when its a guy he doesn't say a word. I asked my brother and he agrees with what I thought my boyfriend would have done.

I understand ex fiance is hard to let go, but he flipped out when I was talking to a guy I flirted with, so i stopped talking to that guy to make him feel better and when I told him he says its fine, because if I stop talking to him then my bf will have to stop talking to his ex. But as his current girlfriend, i feel like my feelings should matter..

So if you are a chinese man, or any man in general I guess, and your current girlfriend can't sleep at night and their heart is eating up inside everyday, and she asked you to stop talking to your ex because a ton of reason one being she called your girlfriend a whore would you say you won't make up your mind? and if your current girlfriend said she would leave if you didn't pick (because you are still lying to your ex) would you do anything to try and stop her? other than making her feel worse by using a guilt trip?

***his ex fiance is white, like me, they knew each other for 3 years, and I have known my bf for 9 months... I speak some chinese, and I read all the time for the cultural things... I have done everything I can do for him, and he won't do this for me***

I'm not Chinese and can barely speak a word of it but in my opinion he should side with you over the ex and that should be the case no matter what your nationality is. It seems to me as he's trying to play on both sides of the fence. JMO

If she hadn't called you a whore I would say it's his right to be her friend but when she starts calling you names for no reason there is no excuse, he MUST take your side. If he takes her side I'd be worried about the two of them, it seems like he still has feelings for her that are beyond friends to me and that girl DEFINITELY still likes him which would explain the bitterness to you. Or else she's just a jealous bitch... either way is bad for you and your bf if he wants to stay her friend.

If my friend started calling my girlfriend a whore for no reason I'd tell that friend to get fucked.

You dont' NEED to be friends with all your bf/gf's friends but you MUST have a level of respect and decency going on which he and his friend do not seem to have towards you.

He should stand firmly with you, she is the past, you are the future.
Does he want to go back to her ?
Then tell him he is welcome to go back, but he must just stop wasting your time.
Sounds like he is trying to have 2 girlfriends and that just won't work.
if he chooses her, then let him go, don't give a second thought, but never let him back.
OK, easier said than done, it hurts, sure it does, but rather the hurt now than later, as every day you are together, it will be harder to break free and still keep you dignity.

FM

How did she end up calling you a whore anyway? At first sight and then blurt out "What a whore"?

Just wanting to know why she would be so bold to do that. Is it jealousy? But then why would your BF be protecting her? Did you actually provoke her because guys will defend their friends if their Girlfriend was being a bitch to them. But you said it was through their conversation. Maybe it was about how he picked you up so easily and she accidently LOL blurt out "What a whore" by an accidental reaction.

Its just like as said before by posters here, did she intended the "whore" to outright disrespect you or not.

Oh and a tip: Never use "This or me?" That method usually upsets guys no matter that the case is about. They really never want you to win with this method just incase its used for everything like "Your hobbies or me?!"

The BF not seems a traditional Chinese man. Find a better one.

You assume she wants a traditional Chinese man, most Western girls don't.

this man is a hypocrite, maybe he is trying to play around with both side
if he really likes you, why can't he confront what his ex said?

dump him, believe me. I am Chinian.

at least he is indecisive.

others' opinions dont count. it all depends how much you love him. No one is perfect. If you think that's principal, then dump him. Otherwise you have to take it. the relationship between you and ur bf sounds very childish (or romantic) .....

OMG this relationship will be short!!!
About time you looked for another chinese man, many on this site looking for foregin girl so you in luck, just don't pick this guy:

Unfaithful Chinese Man Naked on Aircon